


Afterward

by astrangebird



Series: Growing and Changing [10]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Family Feels, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-02 05:30:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19434895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrangebird/pseuds/astrangebird
Summary: A few small chapters that happen afterUnder the Starlight.





	1. Caduceus and Jester

Knock knock knock! “Caduceus!” Knock knock knock knock knock! “Caduuuuuceuuuus!” Knock knock knock knock- 

“Yes, Miss Jester?” Caduceus interrupts with an exasperated sigh, carefully opening the door and hoping she doesn’t start knocking on him instead. “Would you like to come in?” 

She bolts through the door and jumps onto the foot of his bed, giggling and bouncing in place patting the spot next to her for him to sit. While Caduceus isn’t an introvert by any means, Jester at her most precocious is a handful in the morning let alone after hours of dancing. He certainly doesn’t want to be rude and turn her away after promising a retelling of his date, but he’s tired. He takes a deep breath and makes for his tea set instead. 

“Would you like some tea, Miss Jester? I could use some tea.”

“Oh sure! If you’re making some!”

“What do you say to chamomile and lavender? Very good for relaxing and getting ready for bed.” He belatedly hopes that didn’t sound passive aggressive. 

“Oooh I love lavender tea! It reminds me of my mamas house.” A slightly wistful expression overcomes her and she twiddles with the delicate gold chain around her neck, momentarily lost in thought, so Caduceus takes the time while preparing his tea to collect himself.

What was she going to ask about? How much detail is she going to want? How much is he willing to share? What would Caleb prefer he kept to himself? Boy he really needed this tea more than he thought. 

He returns to Jester with two cups and sees that she’s been watching him, studying him like a still life. Sometimes he forgets that she also keeps her eyes on others. Quickly she sits up as straight as she can, tucking her legs under her dress and accepting the offered cup. 

“So did you have a good night?” She asks, tone relaxed and measured as she takes a dainty sip of her tea. She seems to have caught on to his weariness and reeled in some of her exuberance much to his relief. He relaxes onto the mattress with his cup clutched under his nose, appreciating the fragrant mix he’s made. 

“I had a wonderful evening,” He smiles to himself remembering the sound of Caleb’s laughter, “How about you? Did you have a good time while I was gone?”

“Oh yeah I painted a little more on my waaaall, and then I made some scooones, and then I waited for you and Caaaaaleb to come home so you’d tell me all about your night!” 

“...Right.” He sighs, Jester is only ever temporarily distracted. 

She smiles sweetly at him over the steam of her tea, waiting for him to offer her his tale. 

“Well we went to this restaurant further into town. They had lovely tea there, I was actually impressed. There was a band that played all kinds of songs and everyone danced, you would have liked it there a lot. I don’t even know how long we were out but boy am I tired now!” Caduceus laughed at his own inattentiveness, he owns a clock now and Caleb basically _is_ a clock and he still had no sense of time. 

Jester stared blankly at him for a moment, soaking in his story, before blurting out her response, “That’s it? I mean that _sounds_ like it could be romantic but like, what else? You were gone for so long and all you did was eat and dance? Where are the details man?!” She slapped her hand down on her thigh in time with her final question, her eyes alight with curiosity. 

Caduceus had thought that was pretty much the extent of his evening, they talked a lot but he didn’t think that Jester needed to be privy to his private conversations. What more did she need?

“I mean yeah, we ate, we talked, we danced, it was fun? What kind of details are you looking for, Miss Jester?”

“Ugh you said you’d tell me if you kissed him!” She huffs in exasperation.

“Oh! That. Yeah I did that.” Caduceus says as a big goofy smile spreads across his face at the memory. Caleb had looked so handsome in the twinkling lights of the dance floor. Those bright eyes of his catch the light really well when he’s leaned back like that.

“Caduceus?” Jester looks at him impatiently. 

“Hmm?” 

“I asked you how it was but you look like you were daydreaming about it so it was probably really nice.” She looks equally parts impatient and amused. 

“Oh yeah it was nice. Though I don’t have anything to compare it to so it could have been really bad and I just wouldn’t know.”

“I feel like if thinking about it makes you smile like that it must have been good.” She smiles at him ruefully and pokes his nose. 

“I thought it was nice.” He can feel the dreamy expression on his face. 

With a bit of a startling squeal Jester lurches forward to squish his face in her hands, “You’re so cute, Caduceus!” 

“Am I?” He asks, pleasantly bemused by her enthusiasm. 

“You look so happy! I’m so glad you had a nice night!” She squeezes his face once more before loosening her grasp, now only cupping his jaw with her tiny hands, “He makes you really happy doesn’t he?”

He thought about it for a moment, of course Caleb made him happy, but so did a lot of things. Jester seemed to be implying a certain kind of happy. So he thinks about Caleb, the lingering glances, his calloused hands, the way his eyes sparkle when he’s excited about something. There’s a pleasant bubbling in his gut that he doesn’t feel when thinking about anyone else. 

“Yeah I guess he does.” He sees Jester glance away to the side of his head like Caleb had and realizes his ears are moving on their own again and he feels slightly embarrassed by his transparency.

Jester smiles softly at him and pulls her hands away before her brows draw together and she looks at him seriously, “Be careful with him though, ok?”

She doesn’t elaborate, but he understands. Caleb has had a rough go of it, he’s got some pointy edges and dark places inside him, he’s very much a work in progress. They can both see him slowly trying to pull himself back together, aligning his pieces like a broken cup. But sometimes the broken things become the most beautiful when they’re made whole again, their cracks filled with gold making them stronger and more valuable than before.

“I will,” He responds, voice filled with quiet determination, “You don’t need to worry about that.”

Her soft smile returns before she gives him an over exaggerated frown, “But don’t let that boy walk all over you, you tell me if I have to open up the gun show!” 

And with a flourish she pushes her sleeves up her arms to flex her thick and muscled biceps at him, and the giggling doesn’t even make them less impressive.

“I appreciate the offer Miss Jester but I think that might be overkill!” He laughs, his mind supplying him with the image of Caleb struggling against Jester’s ridiculously strong grip with his comparably noodly arms.

“The offer still stands,” She replies, calmly rolling her sleeves back down.

They laugh together, joke about who would win in a fight between members of their party (usually Beau), and drink the full pot of tea before Jester seems to calm down enough to let him go to sleep. When he’s finally alone, for what he hopes is the rest of the night, he undresses and climbs into bed grateful that they managed to scrounge together enough cushions for him to be able to stretch out to his full height. His legs ache and his feet are sore, there’s a dull throb in his back from having to bend over so often, he’s tired to his bones but he’s happy. His memory isn’t the greatest, never has been, but it keeps replaying a few quiet moments over and over. The way Caleb smiled at seeing him at the beginning of the night, his wiry arms wrapping around him like snakes, the sparkle in his eyes just before they closed as he kissed him. Perfect little recreations held in his imperfect mind. For a moment he wonders what it must be like for Caleb, recording every moment in perfect clarity, an infinite hall of paintings holding every detail. Selfishly he hopes that Caleb’s memories of him are as nice as his are of Caleb.

Once under the blankets he melts into the mattress, his exhaustion finally having a chance to catch him, and he’s out like a light. He dreams mostly of music, swelling to a crescendo and falling into a lilting lullaby, of bright laughter and brighter eyes that turn into flowers and bloom over and over again.


	2. Caleb and Nott

When he finally turns round to face his bed he nearly jumps out of his skin. Somehow, quiet as she is, Nott managed to open and close his door and lay herself down comfortably across Caleb’s bed while he was changing into his nightclothes.

“Scheisse! Nott, what are you doing here?” He clasps his hand over his chest to catch his heart before it flies out between his ribs.

“Just checking on you!” She replies brightly, the picture of innocence reclined across his pillows.

“You could have knocked. I would have let you in.”

“Yeah but where’s the fun in that?” Nott laughs, thoroughly pleased with her sneaking.

He sighs and sits down at the small desk across from the bed, flipping through notes like he’s going to get any work done, “So what do you need, Nott?”

“How did it go?” She asks, restraint clear in her tone.

“It went well.”

The silence between them is deafening, the sound of his papers almost too loud in his ears, he can her the soft clink of Nott’s claws as she taps them together. Maybe if he continues to say nothing she will leave.

“Just ‘well’? Not good, or great?”

_I guess this is happening._

“I had a good evening, everything went very well. I had… fun.” It feels weird to say out loud after so long of pointedly _not_ having fun.

“You had fun? That’s great, Caleb!” She clambers to the edge of the bed, all of her restraint forgotten, “What did you two do? Where did you go?”

“Ah, well, we went to a nice restaurant a few blocks into the firmaments and had dinner. The food was very good, not too dissimilar to festival meals I would have during the winters up north.” He clears his throat, feeling awkward already even though he just spent the whole night being open with Caduceus, “There was music and dancing, and uhm, we had a good time.”

“Did you dance?” Nott’s eyes light up as she hops down from the bed, coming to stand in front of him and loop her arms around his shoulders, swaying gently side to side, “You’re such a good dancer!”

“Oh uhm yes I did dance,” He wraps his arms around Nott’s waist, holding his wrist behind her back to mirror her posture, “We danced like this, a time or two.”

“How romantic!” Nott’s eyes go a little unfocused as she stares off into the distance for a moment, “Yeza and I would dance like this back in Felderwin during the harvest festivals. He’s not a good dancer though, always stepped on my feet. But that’s just part of his charm.”

“There was a lot of that, ja, Caduceus has very long legs.” Caleb doesn’t comment that he also found it to be rather charming. For a moment he lets his thoughts drift back to the dance floor, the enthralling beat of the music, the comforting weight of Caduceus’ arms around his shoulders, the smell of tea on his breath.

“You know, the first time Yeza kissed me that wasn’t because of a dare was at one of those festivals, dancing like this.” She gives him a leering look, trying to pry information out of him like she already knows that it’s there. He must have been looking rather wistful, he was feeling rather wistful. 

“Where you watching me tonight or is it just written all over my face?” He smiles softly at her, if there is one person he doesn’t have to hide from it’s Nott. 

“You look absolutely smitten dear.” She smiles fondly at him, a few sharp teeth poking out around her lips. 

There’s a comfortable silence between them for a moment until he’s struck with a realization. His face must have done something while he was thinking because Nott is looking at him with concern.

“I kissed him,” He says quietly as he clutches at the back of her dress, hoping not to float away on this weird weightless feeling overcoming him, “I kissed Caduceus Clay square on the mouth. It was something that I wanted to do and I just, I just did it!”

Nott blinks owlishly at him, her smile growing wide and wild to match his energy, “You did?”

“I did!” Caleb grabs Nott by the face, hoping to make her understand the manic feeling bubbling up in him, “Nott, I don’t know if you know this about me or not, but I don’t often just _do_ things, certainly not things that I want to do, not things that are just for me.”

“No you’re rather restrained most of the time, except when it’s about books, or- or your cat.” She stares up at him with those shiny golden eyes, a frighteningly wide smile on her toothy mouth.

“Or you.” Caleb smiles softly at her.

“Or me.” Nott repeats, swaying in place happily.

“But I did that,” He whispers, pulling her close to press their foreheads together, “I did it for me.”

Nott’s hands come up to lay on his cheeks, and for a moment they were quiet. Nott looks at him with what he can only call a smile, she looks like she’s happy but there looks like there’s more just under the surface. He’s never been the best at reading faces, even Nott’s. Hell, especially not Nott’s with everything he’s missed about her. 

“I’m so proud of you, Caleb,” She pulls back so she can look at him properly and pet her hands through his hair, wavy from the braids, “It’s good to see you without your mask too.”

“Mmm trying, it is… difficult, but I am trying.” He tries not to think about that, this is a happy moment.

“Being yourself is worth it, even if it’s hard.”

Caleb gives a contemplative grunt in response, wanting to believe her but not ready to commit to the sentiment.

“I saw Mister Clay had a flower in his hair,” Nott leers at him and Caleb ducks his head, bringing his hands together between them to twiddle his fingers, “You gettin’ serious already?”

Caleb’s face quickly colors red and he whips his head back up to look at her, eyes wide at the implication and embarrassed that she could already see him falling hard.

“N-no Nott, I just- I just wanted to give him a- a gift.”

“Sure sure! Of course! You’re always so generous!” She pats him on his cheek, her hand feels cold compared to his warm face, “Flowers are good gifts, very important to halflings anyway.”

“Ja but I am not a halfling, Nott. Your penchant for flower gifting has just rubbed off on me, that’s all.” He says, twisting his ring of evasion around his finger, hoping that she believes him even a little. Caduceus doesn’t know anything about halfling culture so it was just a gift.

“Of course,” She smiles sweetly at him and plucks a flower out of a braid in her hair, it looks like an old nearly squashed daisy, likely from when they were still in the empire. She looks at it for a moment, twirling it between her fingers before looping the stem through the top button hole on his shirt. Caleb doesn’t know if the type of flower matters to Nott, but he knows the act of giving them means a lot to her. 

“Danke.”

“You’re very welcome, Caleb. I should let you get to bed, I’m sure you’re tired.”

“Ja, lot of dancing, hard on my skinny legs.” 

She darts in close to kiss the tip of his nose before darting back out of his grasp, seeming to just appear by the door. She pauses awkwardly halfway through the door, looking between him and the hallway before finding her voice again.

“Now, I know I’m not your mother, a-and you’re a full grown man and all that, but do I need to have that _talk_ with you about the b-“

“No thank you! Gute Nacht Nott!” Caleb stands quick enough to knock his chair over and heads towards her, hoping to gently push her out the door.

“You’re sure? I mean I know a lo-“

“I greatly appreciate the offer but I assure you I do not need any advice on that topic!” He takes hold of Nott’s shoulder and forces her the rest of the way out the door, “Thank you and good night!” He closes the door firmly in her face. He can hear her laughing to herself.

Only a moment passes and he opens the door once more, Nott has only made it about five paces away and he calls to her, “Don’t go having that conversation with Caduceus either!” Before closing and locking the door for good.

For the second time tonight he finds himself sitting on the floor against his door, this time holding his red face in his hands and thanking every god who will listen for allowing him to have a room that he can make Nott leave. However the longer he sits on the floor he finds himself sinking down like he’s going to fall asleep and that just won’t do when he has a perfectly good bed to crawl into, he hasn’t even set his alarm spell yet. So he forces himself off the floor, casts his spell, and carefully pulls the flower from his shirt to set it on his desk, summoning Frumpkin atop his pillow. With a snap he snuffs the candles and climbs into bed, pulling Frumpkin to his chest and burying his face into the fur of his little fuzzy head.

“I missed you, you don’t ask me any questions.” He mumbles between Frumpkin’s ears.

Frumpkin makes a pleased little chirping sound and presses his head into Caleb’s chin.

“Ich liebe dich auch.”

The soft rumbling of Frumpkin’s quiet purr lulls him to sleep quickly, his fingers scrunching into his fur automatically as he falls into a dream where suddenly that fur is grey and pink and impossibly soft. There’s a quiet beat, not of a heart, but music. 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3. A waltz, quiet, in the background, secondary to the deep rumbling laugh like thunder rolling over the hills of Blumenthal. The whisper of wheat fields dance under his fingers as he follows a slender ethereal fey creature out of the fog. He doesn’t know where they are going but he knows that he will follow.


End file.
